A NIMBY WRITES

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah - !!!!!!!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh - !!!!!! IT'S SO UNFAIR!!!!!!!!!

We're SPECIAL!! Put the wind turbines anywhere else - anywhere else - but here!! They'll blot out the sun!! They'll be like massive office blocks revolving at the bottom of the garden!

We all believe passionately in wind power, just NOT HERE!! Anywhere else!! ANYWHERE!

Everybody I know or have ever met lives directly underneath a turbine and they CAN'T SLEEP for the constant sound of INVADING BARBARIAN HORDES and all-night parties right above their heads!! Most of them have committed suicide already because their houses are now worth about the same as they were last week and that's DESTROYING their local economy and making them MISERABLE.

So put some more wind farms where they are but leave us alone!!!! We're just a plain and simple bunch of retired accountants and company directors, we don't want our little ones' ponies to rear up at the sight of a GIANT MASSIVE turbine! We don't want them slicing our dogs up or turning the sky into some enormous BLOOD-SOAKED NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's a well known fact that wind has never, ever, ever produced any kind of energy whatsoever and that all environmentalists really want to destroy the land and everything on it. And I speak as a passionate believer in wind power who once read a leaflet about it, or something or other.

It's a proven FACT that all wind turbines just stand there for years on end doing nothing but giving you cancer, and that includes the ones that are SO NOISY they drown out the voices in your head!!!!!!!

These gargantuan office block sized spinning wheels with their death stares and their great big boots will totally DESTROY our community and all life as we know it. We will all be living in the hedgerows begging for a moment's peace and quiet. So, speaking as someone who believes passionately in helping the planet, I say put them anywhere as long as I can't see them.

Because it's just so UNFAIR!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!! Come on, Dr Stroud, tell us some more lies about them!! Come on, quick, we need more ludicrous propaganda, STAT!!!