WHAT A DIFFERENCE!

Members of VVASP have received new orders from High Command.

In the light of the Wychavon planning officer's decision to recommend refusal of the windfarm planning application, the planned VVASP demonstration on 25th January has been cancelled. So no re-enactment of all those old zombie movies, then, when the Councillors explore the site of the proposed wind farm. Nimbies have been ordered not to approach the Councillors and on no account to mention that stuff about receiving bribes which was the talk of the Lenches a week or so ago.

No, all drones are to be on their best behaviour - no 'people distraction', as VVASP's Minister for Propaganda quaintly puts it - and only a daft blimp will be allowed to fly, so that the Councillors get a completely misleading idea of what a windfarm looks like. Oh, and if anyone has managed to mislay their stupid NOOKIE placards, please let Dr Evil know and he'll replace them at no extra cost.

So - everybody clear? No snarling, swearing or hurling abuse at the Councillors, got it? Let's try and look like decent, civilised human beings (after all, it's only for one day, and even VVASP should be able to manage that, yes?) Everybody is to creep around their houses, not making a sound, and if a Councillor should happen to pass by, simply say, "Oh, lawks a lordy, master, what will become of us all if that there windy farm takes place?" and pretend that you live in Candleford.

Come the day of the planning decision, VVASP will be herded up at three separate locations and driven by coach to the Council building. Any demonstration outside the building will be entirely for the benefit of the press, as VVASP have noticed that the Councillors will actually be enjoying a light lunch at the time. It's quite possible, of course, that the Councillors will be discussing why a group which has badgered and browbeaten them for two whole years should suddenly disappear when they turn up to look around the area. Normally, VVASP go to desperate lengths to inflate their numbers, so why are they hiding behind the sofa, all of a sudden?

All very suspicious, eh? And all because the planning officer took the nimby arguments at face value.

It's amazing, isn't, what a difference a week makes.